There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
