Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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