So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
