ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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