Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
FUCK WHALES
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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