Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
