so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
