I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
