I want to make a zoo with you.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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