You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Duck Duck Cougar?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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