o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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