Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
