Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
