DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
40s are totally the cure
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
