You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
