Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
