Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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