How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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