What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
