this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
