: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
