when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
