hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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