I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
where are my eyebrows?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
