now i know why i became what i already was.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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