please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
