is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
one might say we're banned from that church
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
