note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
