Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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