She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
