so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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