Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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