he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
