how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
