I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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