you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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