yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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