An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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