Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
