Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
