So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
