my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
