I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
