"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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