Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry ShinyHappyLady hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(347): View more from New York

i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties

Fav 16 1320 797
share tweet
(940): View more from Texas

shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.

Fav 24 3283 1226
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(404): View more from Georgia

If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.

Fav 12 1434 5225
share tweet
(914): View more from New York

It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.

Fav 38 3606 7188
share tweet
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

Your godly.

Fav 13 4492 1435
share tweet
(317): View more from Indiana

On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.

Fav 3 2651 1233
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(972): View more from Texas

I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.

Fav 12 2182 1484
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(909): View more from California

the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet

Fav 2 247 346
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(712): View more from Iowa

If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.

Fav 0 15 25
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT