I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
