I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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