I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Say something about gay babies.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
