i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
