"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
